So, here we are again. Sambung cerita iolls yang dah basi ni. Sudi ke nak baca? Kahkahkah... Okay, marilah.
So, my surgery was a success (well, obviously lah kan kalau tak siapa yang nak bercerita ni haaaa... jengjengjeng). It was 3 hours long. Erm, mesti ada yang cakap, alahhh... 3 jam je pong... Ikut suka hang lah nak cakap apa pun kan... For me, 3 jam yang menakutkan...
The moment aku tersedar, yang aku ingat, I was coughing. Tetiba je batuk then muntah kahak... I was at recovery room... Aku terbukak mata sikit and straight way "Alhamdulillah, syukur Ya Allah.". And suddenly nurse datang panggil nama aku while he/she vacuum the phlegm. Lepas aku muntah tu, ada la incident yang memalukan terjadi tapi tak perlu la kot nak cerita kat sini... Kahkahkah...
First thing I felt, leher aku. Rasa tight. Very very tight. Aku tak comfortable, AT ALL. Pain and tight at the same time. It's hard to describe. Time tu rasa nak nangis sangat2 because I can't speak. Taktau nak explain kat nurse macam mana. Then nurse cakap nak tolak aku pergi bilik. I was helplessly on the bed when he/she pushed me.
When I reached my room, aku memang tak larat nak bukak mata but I heard everything. Apa yang diorang sembangkan. Siapa bagi bunga, yang datang stay dekat bilik sampai malam, yang baru datang, yang berdiri dekat pintu, yang sembang dengan papa, yang sembang dengan mama.. I heard everything but I just can't open my eyes. But I remember, I was crying. Sebab tak selesa and I don't know how to tell people. Yang keluar dari mulut aku was "sakit...sakit...tak selesa...sakit". Sedih sebab kau helpless sangat and you don't have a partner untuk jaga kau. Only your family.
This was me at the moment I entered the room, Trying to find my comfy spot.
This was me when I cried saying that I'm not comfortable and Dila gave me her bantal busuk. Kayyyy. You probably can see that I'm in pain.
And this was me after Kak Ila bring the neck pillow and I felt much better.
*all of the pictures above taken by Dila tanpa ku mengetahuinya. Sebab tu selekeh nak mampos je tu*
Suara yang aku ingat, yang datang after the surgery, regardless stay lama or tak, Azli, Is, Cici, Ieqa, Wandy, Azlan, Aswad, Ramli, Aiman, Kak Ila, Kecik and maybe ada lagi but I can't remember. My family was there except Kakyin sebab dia kena jaga Mika kat rumah. The nurses tak bagi bawak Mika lagi takut dia nak dekat aku and I was not that strong at that time. Time Ieqa nak balik, she said something to me. "ni ieqa, ieqa datang ni." That time aku dengar but I couldn't answer her and I was crying and my dad wiped my tears. Tu yang paling aku ingat sebab time tu kau rasa Allah Maha Kuasa and you felt so tiny as his servants. Aku nak sangat tengok muka2 yang datang melawat aku and personally say thank you to them. Honestly, I feel like I'm dying. Really.
After semua balik, only left Dila with me, aku baru boleh bukak mata. And aku rasa there's something on my neck. Rupanya, ada tube. The tube, doc put inside my neck untuk darah keluar ke camne tah, I wanted to go to the toilet to pee.
This is the crucial part.
I could not sit up straight. Sebab leher aku terlalu tight, You know, when you want to straighten your neck macam nak bagi relief kan, so aku memang tak boleh. Kau akan rasa mencekik sangat sangat. Macam ada orang cekik kau, Dila panggil nurse because that time was my first attempt to get up. Dia takut aku pening and jatuh. So the nurse help me. Time tu baru aku sedar yang suara aku tak ada. Allah, time tu aku takut and sedih sangat sebab kau rasa macam kau helpless and menyusahkan orang.
Nurse tolong slow2 untuk aku bangun but aku macam kena tunduk la. I can't straighten my neck remember? And the tube bag on your neck pulak kau kena pegang and the nurse papah sampai toilet. So she helped me and show the right way to sit down to pee and so on. But still, sepanjang masa kau nak tido balik, all the time you feel like somebody is choking you. Really. So the nurse helped me to get back to the bed and Dila pun tolong aku change the gown and so on, baru lah aku dapat tido dengan selesa. Nope, tube only for the neck, not for my bladder.
And I was in the hospital for 7-8 days, I can't remember. I got no voice. Husky voice. Tight on the neck all the time and there was a time aku macam kena panic attack because I felt like I can't breathe. Sampai nurse datang check oxygen but I was fine, Rupanya because the tissue in my neck is trying to recover so that is why aku keep on rasa macam can't breathe. Oh, the doctor open up my neck sampai dagu just so you know :p
Another thing that happened was, aku selalu rasa kebas. Kebas kaki, tangan and muka. It was funny because kebas kau tu buat sampai kau cramp. Never had that before. Aku tak pernah dapat cramp except time pregnant. Then I asked the doctor rupanya It's the after effect of the removal of the thyroid gland. Sampaikan aku kena drip 3-4 bags of calcium. Sebabkan calcium level aku dropped, nurse had to take blood sample dekat aku 3times everyday sampai aku discharge. Yes. Everyday. So imagine urat2 aku sampai dah keras and aku dah start sakit. Why everyday? My calcium reading tak consistent. Why is it so important to monitor my calcium level?
Because I could get cardiac arrest.
And that scares me.
There's alot more to story but I'm sleepy. Will continue again. Itu pun kalau korang nak baca lagi. Toodles~~~
P/S - rasa macam grammar carca merba sangat ni. Please ignore. Please don't be the english police now. AND. aku bukan king coco krunch. This is just the way I blog. Tak suka takyah baca. Pi main jejauh sana.
When I reached my room, aku memang tak larat nak bukak mata but I heard everything. Apa yang diorang sembangkan. Siapa bagi bunga, yang datang stay dekat bilik sampai malam, yang baru datang, yang berdiri dekat pintu, yang sembang dengan papa, yang sembang dengan mama.. I heard everything but I just can't open my eyes. But I remember, I was crying. Sebab tak selesa and I don't know how to tell people. Yang keluar dari mulut aku was "sakit...sakit...tak selesa...sakit". Sedih sebab kau helpless sangat and you don't have a partner untuk jaga kau. Only your family.
*all of the pictures above taken by Dila tanpa ku mengetahuinya. Sebab tu selekeh nak mampos je tu*
Suara yang aku ingat, yang datang after the surgery, regardless stay lama or tak, Azli, Is, Cici, Ieqa, Wandy, Azlan, Aswad, Ramli, Aiman, Kak Ila, Kecik and maybe ada lagi but I can't remember. My family was there except Kakyin sebab dia kena jaga Mika kat rumah. The nurses tak bagi bawak Mika lagi takut dia nak dekat aku and I was not that strong at that time. Time Ieqa nak balik, she said something to me. "ni ieqa, ieqa datang ni." That time aku dengar but I couldn't answer her and I was crying and my dad wiped my tears. Tu yang paling aku ingat sebab time tu kau rasa Allah Maha Kuasa and you felt so tiny as his servants. Aku nak sangat tengok muka2 yang datang melawat aku and personally say thank you to them. Honestly, I feel like I'm dying. Really.
After semua balik, only left Dila with me, aku baru boleh bukak mata. And aku rasa there's something on my neck. Rupanya, ada tube. The tube, doc put inside my neck untuk darah keluar ke camne tah, I wanted to go to the toilet to pee.
This is the crucial part.
I could not sit up straight. Sebab leher aku terlalu tight, You know, when you want to straighten your neck macam nak bagi relief kan, so aku memang tak boleh. Kau akan rasa mencekik sangat sangat. Macam ada orang cekik kau, Dila panggil nurse because that time was my first attempt to get up. Dia takut aku pening and jatuh. So the nurse help me. Time tu baru aku sedar yang suara aku tak ada. Allah, time tu aku takut and sedih sangat sebab kau rasa macam kau helpless and menyusahkan orang.
Nurse tolong slow2 untuk aku bangun but aku macam kena tunduk la. I can't straighten my neck remember? And the tube bag on your neck pulak kau kena pegang and the nurse papah sampai toilet. So she helped me and show the right way to sit down to pee and so on. But still, sepanjang masa kau nak tido balik, all the time you feel like somebody is choking you. Really. So the nurse helped me to get back to the bed and Dila pun tolong aku change the gown and so on, baru lah aku dapat tido dengan selesa. Nope, tube only for the neck, not for my bladder.
And I was in the hospital for 7-8 days, I can't remember. I got no voice. Husky voice. Tight on the neck all the time and there was a time aku macam kena panic attack because I felt like I can't breathe. Sampai nurse datang check oxygen but I was fine, Rupanya because the tissue in my neck is trying to recover so that is why aku keep on rasa macam can't breathe. Oh, the doctor open up my neck sampai dagu just so you know :p
Another thing that happened was, aku selalu rasa kebas. Kebas kaki, tangan and muka. It was funny because kebas kau tu buat sampai kau cramp. Never had that before. Aku tak pernah dapat cramp except time pregnant. Then I asked the doctor rupanya It's the after effect of the removal of the thyroid gland. Sampaikan aku kena drip 3-4 bags of calcium. Sebabkan calcium level aku dropped, nurse had to take blood sample dekat aku 3times everyday sampai aku discharge. Yes. Everyday. So imagine urat2 aku sampai dah keras and aku dah start sakit. Why everyday? My calcium reading tak consistent. Why is it so important to monitor my calcium level?
Because I could get cardiac arrest.
And that scares me.
There's alot more to story but I'm sleepy. Will continue again. Itu pun kalau korang nak baca lagi. Toodles~~~
P/S - rasa macam grammar carca merba sangat ni. Please ignore. Please don't be the english police now. AND. aku bukan king coco krunch. This is just the way I blog. Tak suka takyah baca. Pi main jejauh sana.
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