I feel like writing tonight. What to right about? I don't know yet. I don't know exactly.
It can be anything that popped in my head.
For the past few months, I am suffering. Suffering from the people around me. Suffering from WEDDINGS. Yeah, I LOVE WEDDINGS! LIKE LOVE LOVE. Two heart and soul becomes ONE. Lovebirds. Dream come true. Happiness. Haram di Halalkan. Honeymoon. Everything about Weddings, Marriage, Solemnization and after that, babies :').
Since my last relationship, I was thinking " Why should i wait for so long? " and since that, my dream of getting married before 25yo, is getting bigger and larger and deeper. I just want to get married. I just want to settle down. I just want to be someone's wife.
Yeah, people will say " boo you, kahwin awal apa barang " yaa yaa... you guys can say whatever you want. Doesn't mean you settle down at the very early age, you cannot be happy, you cannot enjoy life. There is no proof to that. Think about our moms. They get married as early as 16. (it's not that i encourage teenage girl to get married. NO NO NO but you do get my point, right?)
When I look at my mom, she get married at the age of 21 and now, her daughters all are grown ups and yet, she is still strong to do whatever she wants. Shopping, travelling and travelling. (yeah, she loves to travel) and yes, we do look like sisters. :D
I want to be her. Yes, I want to be her.
But, it's not that easy to get married nowadays. You need to have $$$. And that is my dilemma.
The only support that we do have now ( me and my-future-husband-zul . InsyaAllah. Amin ) is our asb dividen. Alhamdulillah i thought him into that. If not, we are in biggg trouble. Dalam sepuluh tahun belum tentu duit cukup dengan kerja kitorg yg gaji x menentu.
Bukan senang nak kumpul duit. It's not that easy. Dugaan datang dalam macam2 cara, macam2 bentuk and for us to kumpul 10k each for 12months is impossible. But dugaan for me is kesabaran.
Cincin merisik dah beli even his mom yet to say when they are coming over. Friends at the same age as mine have all went through their time. (that I envy the most). They look so beautiful, so in love, so happy. But I only pity my mom. She is sooo excited if one of her daughter can get married in 1 or 2 years time. Even she's the one who is eager to bought the cincin merisik.
Ahhhhhhhh..... I just want to get married. Badly!!!
See my post. It's all over the place. I told you. There is a lot in my mind but I cannot write down everything in sequence. ( Sapa suruh xrajin update blog. Padan otak kau.) So i just write whatever popped in my head. :)
Till then...toodles :D
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